Trapped
by Tinoka
Summary: You keep asking what makes me want to spend five years trapped in the, as Dad put it, "flying can" in space. The answer s not simple." Uhura-centric gen


**Title:** Trapped  
**Author:** tinocka  
**Wordcount: **987  
**Pairing/Characters:** Uhura-centric gen  
**Rating: **PG  
**Summary:** "You keep asking what makes me want to spend five years trapped in the, as Dad put it, "flying can" in space. The answer´s not simple."

_Hi Mum._

Nyota pauses the recording. Her finger rests lightly against the button while she ponders how to begin the reply she has to send home. It has been days since the message from her mother arrived and Nyota knows quite well that the longer she waits with her reply the less her words will matter. If she lets her mother feel the Starfleet has stolen Nyota and made her not care about those she left home, it will become almost impossible to persuade the woman that this is how the things should be.

Taking a deep breath, she presses the button again.

_I´m pleased to hear that both you and Dad are healthy. I´m quite well myself._

Nyota stops the recording once again and asks herself whether to mention the light injury she suffered two days ago. She decides not to.

_You keep asking what makes me want to spend five years trapped in the, as Dad put it, "flying can" in space. The answer´s not simple._

This time, she is interrupted by the voice of her captain reaching her ears through the intercom. "Lieutenant Uhura, report to the Bridge immediately."

She sighs and glares at the communication device. Then she, however, remembers why she is wanted and practically runs out of her quarters.

_One of the reasons is to watch the planets never seen by human before grow larger on the viewscreen, to feel the excitement that fills the air. Describing what it feels like to actually boldly go where no one has gone before is impossible, that´s something one needs to live through to understand the feeling. No language I know possess the right words so I´ll call it... addictive._

_Doing this work you have to be prepared to expect the unexpected. I don´t think there´re two planets which would be the same. All are fascinating and all are dangerous in their own way._

_When we, the away team, beamed down to Moxxeln Prime, we felt that we have never seen a more beautiful place. With the first breath we realised that we never needed more than this planet could offer. All we wanted in our life was that purplish sky and giant pink and blue flowers. We were perfectly content from the first step._

Nyota rests her head against the green trunk of one of the planet´s trees and closes her eyes. The air is sweet and warm. She is not aware of the time that passed since she materialised on the surface.

"I´d spend whole life here, without moving," says someone, not that far from her, and her eyes flash open.

Her heart is pounding hard as if she woke up in the middle of a nightmare.

_When I heard Chekov say it, it was as if someone burst the pleasant bubble. The colours faded, I was suddenly very cold and hungry. Also, I felt trapped._

Being the only sane person on the surface of the planet is frightening. According to the growling of her stomach they have been there for several hours and a second away team had to beam down to look for them and its members are now just as trapped in the false comfort of the Moxxeln Prime.

All of them are either resting in the shadows of green trees or playing kindergarten games.

Nyota has her tricoder in her hand, scanning her surroundings, trying to figure out the cause of this mess when she notices a similarly exasperate officer. The red-haired engineer is trying to get her communicator back from the giggling captain, who - with the brightest smile Nyota has ever seen on him - is bouncing around her in circles, obviously attempting to drag her into a game of tag.

"Lieutenant," Nyota calls, unable to recall the woman´s name, even though she is quite certain they were in the same year at the Academy. Rank is just as good form of address as any other. They are both red-dressed lieutenants, but Nyota is quite certain she is higher in the chain of command.

The woman turns around and a wave of relief washes over her face as she realises she is not the only one not enjoying the unexpected shore leave on Moxxeln Prime.

"Thanks God," is the first thing she says.

"How come you´re not impressed by the local beauty like the others?"

Hannity. The name of the engineer is Hannity.

Captain Kirk grabs her arm, completely oblivious to the discussion going on, and the woman pushes him away.

"The prospect of being stuck on one planet for the rest of my life? I´d call that my worst fear. A personal hell, not heaven."

Nyota looks around, then raises her eyes to the sky, searching for the Enterprise. "Mine too, I think."

_Together we figured out that this was another "pollen incident" as Kirk calls them. Most of the flora of the place where we landed is carnivorous and it emits chemicals that make beings feel content even though their bodies suffer and eventually die. Then the plants simply eat them. The only way to destroy the effect they had on our crewmates was to make them experience their worst fears._

_It was difficult and uncomfortably intimate to find and act out these - not phobias but actual nightmares. It felt wrong to make Captain believe he was good for nothing or call Spock the disgrace of all the Vulcans._

_I learned a lot about many of the people I serve with. And about myself._

_I think I finally can explain my motives to you, even though you may not understand. Enterprise is not a metal trap hanging in nowhere, it is a vehicle that helps me keep moving forward. I live for adventure, I live to experience unexperienced, to, maybe, help the world change for better._

_Just thinking about living years in one place makes my knees shake in fear._

_I love you. Take care._

_Nyota_

_**A/N:** I´ve edited some of the bigger mistakes... I really need to get myself a regular beta...  
_


End file.
